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Hello Beautiful People,
It has been a while since we’ve posted any updates, and we apologize to those who have been asking. The past couple of months have been very intense, and I have been doing my best to stay afloat. For those of you who know me, it takes a lot for me to do anything related to social media or technology, and although I attempted, updates and videos never made it public.
We want you to know how much we appreciate all of the continued support, questions, concerns and prayers that you have so generously shared. It truly makes all the difference!
Firstly, the ‘good news…
For those of you who don’t know, Kevin had very impressive results from the 3 weeks of Intensive Integrative Treatment he underwent in the fall. Kevin has shared much about the modalities in previous videos and posts. Although the treatment was intense, he suffered no side effects at the time. Within those 3 weeks, overall tumors had significantly reduced by at least 30 to 40%. A lesion in his ilium disappeared and the bone was repairing itself. The treatments were designed to have the effects continue, and scans in December and January showed further improvements.
Upon our return home, he attempted to try oral chemotherapy. Unfortunately, he immediately experienced severe side effects, which created several secondary issues . It was clearly evident he needed to discontinue that course of treatment; however, the damage has had ongoing consequences. Additionally, he experienced a couple of injuries which were painful and limited his mobility, which took their toll physically and mentally.
In mid-March, he returned to Sanoviv for 8 days of intensive treatment. This time it wreaked havoc on his GI system. Upon his return, he was overwhelmed with fatigue and loss of appetite, was bedridden, and subsequently weakened his body and his spirit.
Last week he was admitted to a local hospital for 4 days where they were concerned regarding some fluid in his lungs, and focused treatment on blood clots, including a pulmonary embolism . They did scans that did not look very promising, and we are awaiting further information. As they are meant to, they focused solely on his acute needs.
Most of the staff was lovely, and we appreciated their efforts. However, we were reminded repeatedly of the flaws of the hospital system. So many miscommunications and potential mistakes. Our discharge plans totally fell through, and we were left without any of the needed resources. Unfortunately, it is glaringly obvious as to how and why medical errors are one of the leading causes of death.
Many of our beloved clients are all too familiar with the devastating effects and limitations of the allopathic model of disease vs wellness. Over the course of our careers, we have dealt daily with people who have fallen through the cracks, been written off, or left to feel hopeless from what allopathic medicine has to offer and have heard thousands of firsthand accounts about injuries resulting from medical care. It feels really hard to shake off the heaviness of what we know, and how the doctors in this system often feed lower vibrations of fear and helplessness. Therefore, it is hard to trust this system, and a reminder of the importance of empowering ourselves to be our own advocates as we navigate each next step.
When we arrived at the hospital, I felt uneasy about ‘something ‘, but not 100 % discerning as to what the ‘something’ was. As I sat with that early one morning during the course of his stay, I was reminded that I am/ (we are) not meant to place my faith in people, procedures, medications, alternative methods, etc. Instead, we are meant to come back to trusting God and the innate wisdom that we each possess inside of us.
Our focus as CranioSacral and Integrative therapists has centered around this – connecting and trusting the divine wisdom within each one of us. Our bodies and our BEINGS are designed to seek and restore balance, given the right resources.
Pain, and stress are unavoidable parts of life which all humans experience. However, we can minimize our suffering. We have a choice as to how we view our experiences. If we can remember to see and focus on the gifts and learning opportunities, we will grow closer to our authentic nature and Divine Selves. But this is hardest to do when you are in the midst of a crisis.
Since Zoe was born, my greatest desire has been to help her always remember her ‘sparkle’- this foundation of Divine Light and Love that is her innate wisdom, and trust this to guide her through navigating the ups and downs of life, even through the darkest of times. I have a passion to help children learn to trust this light as their inner compass, and help adults re-discover it.
We are walking the walk.
Although there are days I completely feel like I am failing in multiple areas, I can appreciate each step of this journey and the spiritual lessons we are being presented with. Although there have been many days I have been deep in the throes of ‘woe is me’ , I choose to get curious about the lessons being offered to me . I choose to see our struggles as opportunities to connect more deeply to spirit, and utilize reactivity as a catalyst for transformation.
Pain is a voice calling us to listen and to remember, return, and trust our inherent innate wisdom . Although some days it has to scream at me until I hear it, I have learned beyond a doubt to appreciate this wisdom. I choose to see Grace unfolding through subtle synchronicity – chance meetings, conversations, and interactions that remind me to trust the subtle , yet profound energy of Divine guidance that is always present even when we don’t think we can feel it. I try to remember to focus on appreciation and gratitude, especially when I am feeling most angry or broken .
There have been many times along the way I have experienced joy within the suffering, and am thankful for a few occurrences of ‘ a peace that surpasses all understanding’.
The truth is that from a conventional allopathic standpoint, we need miracles to happen for Kevin to be fully restored physically. However, the Truth is also that over the course of our careers, we have been privileged over and over again to see miracles unfold and healing happen in ways that no doctor ever thought possible.
Healing and wellness are not linear. It is easy when you are sick to get pulled down into the frequency of illness rather than possibilities of wellness, no matter what that looks like. People tend to focus on the worst-case scenarios, which feeds the lower vibrations of fear, hopelessness, and closes the door for Presence. Staying connected to prayers for wellness and healing helps to shift the frequency and vibration to one of expansiveness, growth, and possibilities. Wellness does not mean being free of disease, rather it is a dynamic process of change and growth, and a sense of peace and alignment within.
Every living being eventually dies- we have no way of knowing when or how that may be. No matter what the outcome looks like, there is still wellness to be cultivated and healing occurring. We continue to pray for healing and wellness in whatever ways that is possible.
When he was 1st diagnosed with cancer, Kevin had a beautiful Spiritual Awakening. It was a space he felt connected to himself, God, and others in a way he had never known. As he walked this journey, he verbalized that he knew he was going to go through some dark and painful times. To me, it feels like parts of him got stuck in pain and suffering and became too depleted to be able to remember the possibilities of Grace and Light. I have struggled with the best ways to help him remember it for himself and have tried the best I can to hold that space for him until he can.
However, some days it has been tougher than others, and I need to turn to others to help me bear that weight. We need one another in times of crisis -to help to lift each other up, remind us of who we are meant to be in our Divine essence- grace, beauty, light, and LOVE.
I appreciate all of the ways you Beautiful People have helped to lift us up ! We truly could not do this without the support we have been blessed to receive – physically, financially, mentally, emotionally, and otherwise.
We are not the only ones going through really tough times. It seems so many people are dealing with crises right now, including other close members of our inner circle. There are so many things to juggle all at once, and there is no way to do it all alone. Transformation is happening, whether we like it or not… It truly takes a village, and I wish for everyone to have what they need appear as they need it!
We are hoping to get Kevin back to feeling stronger and more empowered in all realms , and strive for gain clarity on best next steps . He desperately wants to get back to work helping others, but right now, he needs to focus completely on his healing.
I am doing the best I can to manage and balance life in all aspects. There are days that feels completely overwhelming.
I appreciate our clients understanding and flexibility as we have had to shift schedules as things arise, and we appreciate all of the ways you continue to support us.
We hope to give back to all of you, and utilize our experiences to serve the world in the ways that we can.
Much Love and Gratitude to you All!
Robyn